I had to learn to let go of my depression. As odd as that sounds, mental illness has been my companion for a long time and over time I became attached to the dark side of my life. It is a place I know well. I was afraid to let go of that part of me which was half of my personality. Depression can be a wellspring of creativity.
Wellness sometimes demands of us that we let go. Fear holds us back. Amputating a part of your behaviour is as frightening as amputating a limb. I learned that letting go of the part of me that was defined by depression would not lead to the melting away of the “me” that I knew. I was able to let go of my depression and no longer had the desire or the need to go back into the darkness.
Every once in a while, when the darkness comes to call, I do welcome it. I like to embrace it for a short while. A friend who had dealt with severe depression sent this eloquent description of living with depression to me. It was written by German poet Ranier Maria Rilke in Letters to a Young Poet, August 12, 1904: The Work Being Accomplished Within You;
So don’t be frightened, dear friend, if a sadness confronts you larger than any you have ever known, casting its shadow over all you do. You must think that something is happening within you, and remember that life has not forgotten you; it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why would you want to exclude from your life any uneasiness, any pain, any depression, since you don’t know what work they are accomplishing within you?
