A ten year old boy was bullied over his colostomy bag. He killed himself. Our children have learned from the so-called adults how to really bully someone.The bullying is coming top down, from the media, with their Fake news where they choose the victim to attack on social media that in a nanosecond shares hate for someone, often without reason,or facts to those who share without thinking. And that is what made it possible for this 10 year old boy to kill himself; because he couldn’t handle the bullying.
His name was Seven Bridges
He was ten years old. In grade five. And his day began and ended on a school bus-where he was bullied over his health issues. He was born with a medical defect that required him to undergo more than 26 surgeries and use a colostomy bag.
Let me tell you about colostomy bags and surgery and pain.
I had a colostomy bag when I was 49. A doctor made a mistake, a “mistake,” and perforated my bowel during a “minor” procedure. I was left over the weekend in a hospital bed with no one to diagnose my problem- feces flowing into my abdomen that was causing a great deal of pain. I was left for 4 days. You should have seen his face when he finally came to my room! You should have seen mine when I was told I might require a colostomy.
There is nothing funny about a colostomy bag. For those who don’t know about them, a bag is attached to your body that catches the fecal material as it makes its way through your intestines. A bag is required when part of the intestine is too broken for the normal journey out the anus.
The official definition: A colostomy bag, also called a stoma bag or ostomy bag, is a small, waterproof pouch used to collect waste from the body. During a surgical procedure known as a colostomy, an opening, called a stoma or ostomy, is formed between the large intestine (colon) and the abdominal wall.
This young boy was teased about the smell. I remember worrying about that. I also worried about the noises that came from the bag. The passing of wind cannot be controlled and one never knew when that would happen. And then there were times when the bag filled and you are caught without another. You can read all about the bag right here.
I didn’t leave my home for 6 weeks for fear of something going wrong with my bag. My first outing was to my local coffee shop. If something went wrong I could run out to my car and go home. I had to fly to America just a few months after the procedure. I can’t tell you how anxiety provoking that was. And remember, I was an adult.
I looked up colostomy bag to share information with you. The photos on social media are quite lovely. Men and women modelling their bags. Doesn’t look all that bad. And its true;it is not the end of the world. But for a young boy?
Let me tell you about the pain and surgery. I required two surgeries to repair the damage caused by that one “medical error.” My eldest daughter called me; she lives in America and asked me about my bag. “Mom”, she said, “do you match your bag with your shoes or your dress?” Humour is an elixir.
There was no humour for this beautiful little boy who suffered through multiple surgeries. May I say that when my surgeon said to me just before the second emergency surgery that no matter how many surgeries I needed she would do them; one of her patients had 13, I told her the second was the last one. Because of the pain. I have a very high pain tolerance. But I was done. This wee child went through 26 surgeries. Let me repeat that. Twenty six surgeries. So he could be a kid again.
Bullying is the new norm. The kids have learned from the masters; adults doing a terrific job on social media. No thinking, no editing, before hitting that button to share an idea or a thought. Don’t like someone for their “smirk” or their views on politics? Attack. Attack. Attack. Did you think your children would not do the same thing? You have given them carte blanche.
You are responsible for the death of this little boy. You Facebook fashionistas, twitter toads, and social media mavens. You are responsible.Think about that.
From the Ethics of the Fathers: “Rabbi Tarfon used to say, it is not incumbent upon you to complete the task, but you are not exempt from undertaking it.”