There was a Palestinian Princess who had such trouble sleeping. No matter which way she turned in her bed there was something hurting her back.
One night she had a dream.
“One hot day, I was very tired after a hard day… and suddenly I saw four white doors in front of me. I opened them in no particular order.
Behind one hitler awaited me. I said, ‘You’re the one who killed the Jews?’
He said: ‘Yes. I killed them so you would all know that they are a nation which spreads destruction all over the world. And what I ask of you is to be resilient and patient, concerning the suffering that Palestine is experiencing at their hands.’
I said [to hitler]: ‘Thanks for the advice.’
And then she woke but only after tossing and turning. Something was definitely under the mattress.
So she called her minions and demanded another mattress be put on top.
The next night she had another dream; this time about the Nazi-Arab alliance which thrived during WWII, complete with tens of thousands of Islamic and Arab volunteers arduously fighting in the trenches, coordinating diplomatic and strategic affairs through the Arab Higher Committee, broadcasting nightly incendiary hate messages beginning with words “Oh Muslims,” and undertaking all things calculated to advance a German victory, which promised an Arab state in Palestine and a disappeared Jewish population
She saw the posters in the marketplace “In Heaven, Allah is your ruler. On Earth, it is Adolf Hitler.”
Surely a dream like this would take away any discomfort from the bed!
But, alas, it was another terrible night of tossing and turning. “I was lying on something hard, so that I am black and blue all over my body. It’s horrible!” So she demanded that her minions get another mattress to put on top of her bed.
This went on night after night, with no reprieve. Mattress upon mattress, to no avail.
What could possibly be keeping the Princess from her much needed sleep?
Finally, the powers that be said, let’s look under the bottom mattress.
And they did.
And they discovered what had caused the princess so much discomfort.
It was a list of some of the accomplishments of the tiny Jewish state of Israel; a state under attack by multiple Muslim states from the day the nation was declared in 1948. Inventions created for all humankind to make the world a better place for all, no matter race, colour, creed or sexual orientation. The State of Israel helped the widow, the orphan, the stranger, the poor, the lost, the needy.
So unlike the Princess’s people who developed expertise in killing people with bombs of all kinds, including balloon bombs targeting children.
It was the State of Israel that irritated her every single night; the amazing accomplishments stuck in the Princess’s craw.
And to think that so many people call for Boycott Divestment and Sanction of Israel’s products, especially the UN! Look what these people would have to give up.
Any Muslim who has Syphilis must not be cured by Salvarsan discovered by a Jew, Dr. Ehrlich. He should not even try to find out whether he has Syphilis, because the Wasserman Test is the discovery of a Jew. If a Muslim suspects that he has Gonorrhea, he must not seek diagnosis, because he will be using the method of a Jew named Neissner.
A Muslim who has heart disease must not use Digitalis, a discovery by a Jew, Ludwig Traube.
Should he suffer with a toothache, he must not use Novocaine, a discovery of the Jews, Widal and Weil.
If a Muslim has Diabetes, he must not use Insulin, the result of research by Minkowsky, a Jew. If one has a headache, he must shun Pyramidon and Antypyrin, due to the Jews, Spiro and Ellege.
Muslims with convulsions must put up with them because it was a Jew, Oscar Leibreich, who proposed the use of Chloral Hydrate.
Arabs must do likewise with their psychic ailments because Freud, father of psychoanalysis, was a Jew.
Should a Muslim child get Diphtheria, he must refrain from the Schick reaction which was invented by the Jew, Bella Schick.
Muslims should be ready to die in great numbers and must not permit treatment of ear and brain damage, work of Jewish Nobel Prize winner, Robert Baram.
They should continue to die or remain crippled by Infantile Paralysis because the discoverer of the anti-polio vaccine is a Jew, Jonas Salk.
Muslims must refuse to use Streptomycin and continue to die of Tuberculosis because a Jew, Zalman Waxman, invented the wonder drug against this killing disease.
Muslim doctors must discard all discoveries and improvements by dermatologist Judas Sehn Benedict, or the lung specialist, Frawnkel, and of many other world renowned Jewish scientists and medical experts.
In short, good and loyal Muslims properly and fittingly should remain afflicted with Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Heart Disease, Headaches, Typhus, Diabetes, Mental Disorders, Polio Convulsions and Tuberculosis and be proud to obey the Islamic boycott.
Oh, and by the way, don’t call for a doctor on your cell phone because the cell phone was invented in Israel by a Jewish engineer.
And then the advances in technology,
Waze, Netafim – drip irrigation; USB stick; Micro robotic system that aids surgery; Water-Gen LTD-clean drinking water; Check Point Software Technologies Ltd-protecting information, OrCam helping the blind to see. Aleph Farms, growing meat from cells; 3D printed heart-the future of organ transplant; the emergency bandage, a.k.a the Israeli bandage, is a multi-purpose bandage that is used to treat heavy and potentially life threatening bleeding…
No matter the number of mattresses that the Princess requested, nothing could stop that pain in her back.
From the Ethics of the Fathers: “Rabbi Tarfon used to say, it is not incumbent upon you to complete the task, but you are not exempt from undertaking it.”